OK, apparently a couple of you want to see this too. This is long, I’m afraid, since I don’t know off any way to make cuts in Wordpress.

Edited to add: Sorry about the weirdness at number 8, I’m not especially happy about that task, it’s just a weird Wordpress formatting thing but there’s no way that I’m going to change the numbering on the other 100 just to get rid of it.

101 THINGS LIST

1) Apply to Axis
2) Assemble garden bench and chain to railings in garden
3) Assemble new wheelbarrow
4) Be mentioned in [AN] Magazine
5) Buy a digital SLR
6) Buy and put up nesting boxes
7) Buy binoculars
Clear out and organise shed
9) Complete 4 thread drawings
10) Complete 8 UFO’s for the L&V Finish-a-thon
11) Complete the Paying It Forward Exchange
12) Create a promotional pack for Pin Ritual
13) Declutter and re-organise Cupboard of Doom
14) Declutter laundry room
15) Decorate middle floor hallway
16) Develop and perform Red Thread
17) Do 50 drawings to sell
18) Donate £100 to British Heart Foundation
19) Exhibit in London
20) Exhibit The Diary Project
21) Finish & post Mart’s box
22) Finish Gemma’s jewellery
23) Finish organising study
24) Finish Pelt
25) Finish re-organising studio
26) Finish shoalwater shawl in time for wedding
27) Finish the research on the house
28) Finish watching Farscape
29) Finish watching Nowhere Man
30) Fix email problem
31) Frame and post Jeanne’s picture
32) Frame and post Mart’s picture
33) Get big bedroom decorated
34) Get damaged corner in library fixed
35) Get front door painted
36) Get more Moo cards
37) Get my hallmark
38) Get new coil fitted
39) Get notecards made from my art
40) Get over 100 in my Technorati rank
41) Get spinning wheel fixed
42) Get windows renovated
43) Go and see a ballet
44) Go on a picnic
45) Go whalewatching
46) Hem grey trousers
47) Host a tea party
48) Install hanging rail or brackets in studio
49) Invent a new cake
50) Keep a daily log for a year
51) Knit Cat’s jumper
52) Learn how to do the more complicated polaroid transfers
53) Learn how to use my medium format camera
54) Learn to follow crochet patterns
55) Learn to spin
56) Lose a stone
57) Make a ‘where things are stored’ database
58) Make a book of The Diary Project
59) Make a limited edition artist’s book
60) Make a new will
61) Make and send CD of wedding photos to Z. and G.
62) Make Butterfly Mind
63) Meet up with Siobhan
64) Organise Australia trip
65) Organise registration info
66) Paint outside of study door
67) Paint railings
68) Pay back J.
69) Perform Pin Ritual again
70) Plant a border with bulbs
71) Put £500 in my savings account
72) Remake and photograph ‘Annunciation’
73) Renew passport
74) Reorganise the kitchen cupboards
75) Replant my herb pots
76) Rescan the earlier envelopes at high res
77) Save up £1000 for a new computer
78) Sell 5 pieces of artwork
79) Sell a piece of jewellery
80) Simplify my email folders
81) Sort out family lawyer stuff
82) Sort out Irene’s picture
83) Submit my work to Fiberarts Magazine
84) Swim in the sea
85) Take or pay someone to take good photos of my recent artwork
86) Take part in 6 exhibitions
87) Test the plastic etching process
88) Tidy and clean under kitchen sink
89) Update descriptions on Flickr
90) Update my art archive
91) Use or get rid of the pile of slate in the garden
92) Visit a waterfall
93) Visit Achnahaird
94) Visit Hay-on-Wye
95) Visit Ireland
96) Visit Red in Amsterdam
97) Visit Roslin Chapel
98) Visit The Bath Museum of Costume
99) Visit the Pitt Rivers Museum in Oxford
100) Watch Season 3 of Veronica Mars
101) Write up the knitted brick pattern

……….

I was most amused to discover yesterday that I’d apparently started a 101 Things list last May. I didn’t remember ever having seen the meme before, let alone writing a list with 50 things on it. It was fascinating to see how many things I’ve already done (only 7 unfortunately), what made it to the final list and what I no longer feel the need to do. It’s obvious already that these lists can change in quite a short time, so you need to stay fluid during the process.

It was especially interesting to notice that a couple of things that I thought were completely off the wall when I wrote them on the final list were also on the earlier one - apparently I have a much deeper desire to go swimming in the sea than I realised.

Well, that’s it for goals for the time being but I’ll probably do monthly updates on how I’m doing, just to keep myself on track. Oh, and if you can help out with any of these goals - especially the exhibition related ones - please do feel free. Indeed, I’m entirely reliant on you all linking to me in order to achieve No. 40 (Get over 100 in my Technorati rank) - but don’t worry, I won’t be asking you to come round and clear out my cupboards!

Hooray, the year can officially start now because I’ve finished all my goal lists. I suppose it’s one way to get through the long slog of January - just cut the month in half by arbitrarily deciding that the first couple of weeks don’t count!

I thought you’d all be bored with these posts about goals by now but to my surprise, I’ve been getting comments asking me more about it and wanting to see my mind map. I am getting to the end of this subject though, there will be this post and one more on the 101 Things and then I’m going to stop thinking and writing about it for a while.

MIND MAP

My mind map of the things I want from 2008 was one of the main starting points for deciding on my goals for the year. As requested by Wendy and Amanda, here is a scan of the original. I considered censoring one of the goals (go on, guess which one!) but decided not to bother.

Sorry, I had to do it as a thumbnail so that I could make it big enough to be readable. Click on it if you’re interested

As you can see, most of these are rather fuzzy and certainly don’t count as goals yet because they’re so vague - exactly how many games of Scrabble do I need to play before it counts?

You know what’s really freaking me out though - a couple of the things on this mind map have already started coming true WITHOUT ME DOING ANYTHING ABOUT THEM! And after all those years of internally sneering at affirmations too. Yes, very funny, Universe, I guess that’s me told. I’m seeing it more as, ‘I’ve already put in the work and now it’s starting to come to fruition’ rather than ‘ask for anything you want and you’ll get it’ but still, I’m kind of wishing that I’d put ‘earn shitloads of money and become fabulously famous’ on there now.

JOURNALLING

I also did several pages of writing and art journalling about the idea of goals and completed an exercise to discover my theme word for the year, an idea that I nabbed from the Creative Mom Podcast. It’s a good idea that originally came from Ali Edwards.

If you’re struggling to gain clarity on the goal making process, I’ve found this a very helpful exercise to do. Make a big list of words that might apply to your year (if you get stuck with this part, try browsing through a thesaurus or dictionary) and then just let your gut guide you to the right one. Don’t go with what you think you should want from the year but let your intuition speak. It can take a little time to hit on the right word but both years that I’ve done this, I’ve found that I know it when it appears. My word for last year was ‘nourish’, while this year’s word is ‘balance’.

GOALS

After much thought I realised that since I was also doing the 101 Things challenge, I didn’t need an extensive goal list for 2008. Indeed, I toyed with the idea of not having any goals at all but decided that I wanted a few to keep me focused on those desires. I did halve the list though - my massage therapist will be impressed, she’s always telling me to cut down my ridiculously unrealistic daily lists.

Again, I listened to my intuition and kept the idea of making my list entirely positive utmost in my mind: whenever I felt a little internal sigh or reservation about a goal, I struck it off the list.

MY FINAL LIST OF GOALS FOR 2008

1) Finish 8 knitted items by the end of June
This is for the Lime & Violet Finish-a-thon where a bunch of us knitter types have made a public commitment to completing some of the unfinished projects that are lurking on our needles. I think there’s going be a Flickr group for this project soon but as far as I know, it’s not up yet.

2) Declutter 3 rooms
Decluttering was a big theme towards the end of last year and this still feels like a very positive thing to me.

3) Take part in 101 things in 1001 Days
Yep, this is place that I’m hiding the less positive things! However, I did discover through journalling that ‘doing things’ and ‘ticking things off lists’ is hugely positive for me. I actually get a lot of joy from the sense that things are happening and progress is being made. I’ll post the completed list shortly, it is finished but I want to write a bit more about the process of writing it and I didn’t want this to be a dauntingly long post.

4) Visit my friend, Red in Amsterdam
Pretty simple and the single most important one on the list - if I only achieve one of the goals, I want it to be this one.

5) Keep a daily log
I’ve been doing this since the start of the year. It’s not as pressured as it sounds, I’m just making notes in my little paper diary of when I get certain things done, like journalling, walking, exercising, knitting and er, some of the other desires on the mind map. Sheesh, get your minds out of the gutter, people - I meant the Scrabble, of course!

So, the quest for a final list of goals is continuing apace. I’ve given myself until the end of the week to finalise it because for some bizarre reason, next week feels like the proper start of January to me. Don’t even ask, I have no idea why, I just know that I’m still mentally in an ‘in-between’ sort of space.

One thing I’ve definitely decided to do is 101 Things in 1001 Days. This online project involves making a commitment to complete 101 preset tasks in 1001 days, which is about 2.75 years. If you want to take part, there’s a list of criteria and suggestions here.

When I read about this on Eliza’s Back Yard blog, it totally freaked me out. I wasn’t sure why because I undoubtedly already have more than 101 things on my various to-do lists. After some thought, I realised that it was the time-scale that bothered me.

Now, I have no problem with the concept of doing something for a year, as The Diary Project amply shows, but the idea of publicly admitting that it might take me the best part of three years to complete things seriously bothered me. I’m not exactly your Go-To Girl when it comes to delayed gratification: when I have an idea, I want to do it right now. Actually, I generally want to do it yesterday but even I accept that this breaks the laws of physics because I don’t have one of these…

Yet conversely, I’m also The Queen of Procrastination and many of the things on my to-do lists have been lurking there for so long that they’ve become seriously embarrassing to me. This happens partly because I take on too much or commit to things out of a sense of obligation rather than a real desire to do them but also because my energy levels simply can’t keep up with the relentless slew of ideas that pepper my poor defenceless brain. My family have come to live in fear of the words, “hey, you know what would be a really great idea…”

But the fact that I was a bit afraid of the 101 Things meme made me think that it was probably an excellent idea to try it. Then it occurred to me that it could also act as a handy dandy place to hide all my ’shoulds’, so that they weren’t on my official goal list. Hmm, perhaps I haven’t completely integrated that whole ‘only having positive goals’ thing yet!

Anyway, for both these reasons, I decided to go for it and enthusiastically started yet another database. However, after several days, I still only have about 75 things and I’ve utterly run out of inspiration. I could probably plump up the list with more things from my to-do lists but a lot of those are quick, small, one-off or rather boring tasks and I’m not sure they deserve to be on this big list. Plus, I’m still trying to stay mostly positive and only commit to things that I feel are worth doing or that are bothering me enough that I need them out of my life.

So I’m wondering if it’s acceptable to start with just 75 things and add the other 26 at some point in the next 2.75 years. Sigh, I suspect this means that I’m still having trouble with the time-scale thing - after all, how can I possibly know what I’ll want next year, let alone in nearly three? As you can see, I’ve never been one for Soviet style Five Year Plans but perhaps learning to think more long term is part of the reason for doing this.

Unsurprisingly, there’s plenty to read about goals and resolutions in the blogosphere right now.

iHanna has a good post with lots of inspiring (and occasionally daunting!) links.

Sister Diane from the Craftypod makes the very smart suggestion that you only pick one thing that you really want to do. I don’t think I can quite manage that but it’s something that I’m bearing in mind as I continue to very s-l-o-w-l-y refine my list of goals.

After being in a funk the other day, I did a whole load of journalling on the subject of goals and discovered that part of my problem is that I often confuse my goals and desires with the things that I feel I ought to be doing.

For example, I know I should be getting on with making Pelt…

Now this hasn’t been a problem in previous years, I’ve just stuck those ’shoulds’ right on my goal list and felt damn virtuous about it too. However, in the last couple of months I’ve been following a conscious ‘no guilt’ policy. So if something makes me feel guilty then I do something to get rid of that guilt; this can include finishing things, getting rid of them or paying someone else to deal with it. The ‘no guilt’ policy is working well for me, except that it’s apparently scuppered my usual goal setting, which was firmly based around the concept of guilt.

So often our goals and resolutions are negative - lose weight; quit smoking; get fit in the next five minutes, you lazy person; become a better friend; live life more fully; read more intellectual books; do this ‘good’ thing; don’t do that other ‘bad’ thing. We often seem to start with the idea that who we are right now just isn’t enough and we’re flawed somehow, so the focus always seems to be on making ourselves into a ‘better’ person. Sometimes this can be a good thing - making positive changes in our lives can be very empowering. However, there’s a big difference between making a change because we genuinely want to and punishing ourselves for not being perfect yet.

Guess what, you’re never going to be perfect and neither am I!

What would it feel like if everything on your goal list was completely and unambiguously POSITIVE?

I don’t know either but this year I want to give it a try.

Since I was still struggling with my very insistent ’shoulds’, I did a mind map in my art journal about what I want from the year. Writing out a list of 18 things - some small, some large - that I genuinely want felt very powerful. When was the last time you let yourself think about the things that you desire? And not the things you think you ’should’ want either but the things you honestly want.

Of course, I’m also very task orientated and I love to set myself very defined projects and tick things off lists. So writing things like ’spend more time in the library with the lights off and the candles on’ seemed a little silly at first. How do I quantify that? How can I make that into a proper achievable goal with a definite target? Hmmm, should I start a database to count the days when I manage to sit down and properly relax? Ha, you probably think I’m joking… but many a true word was spoken in jest, says the girl who keeps a database of all the books she reads each year!

My mind map of desires isn’t a goal list yet - the other thing I discovered whilst journalling was that the goals I did best in reaching last year were the ones that were very specific and had quantifiable targets (yay, there is a need for those databases!) - but it is a start in a new, and slightly scary, direction for me.

Happy 2008, I hope you all had a good holiday season if you celebrate and that you’re approaching this new year filled with creative energy and enthusiasm.

I don’t know if I am yet. I posted the last envelope last night and spent some time bouncing around being very happy because I had successfully completed the year without a single missed envelope.

However, today I’m feeling a little bereft. I enjoyed the ritual of marking every day and it’s hard to let go of that. How will I know that 2008 existed if I don’t mark it in some way? My mind is racing with ’substitute projects’. Should I commit to art journalling every day? Should I take my new Moleskine notebook and divide the pages into sections so I can fill it with a year’s worth of drawings and single poetic sentences? Should I put a wallchart in my studio and mark off every day that I spend some time in there? Should I take a photograph everyday? Should I take a daily art walk where I collect objects? Should I, should I, should I, should I?

Aaaaaarggggggghhhhhhh!

I was very clear before the end of the year that I needed to allow myself some recovery time after the active phase of The Diary Project and I know that’s still true. However, my muse apparently abhors a vacuum and so I’m having to forcibly rein myself in and let my brain know that I’m not going to jump straight into doing something new. That it’s OK to let go for a little while and I’m not going to drown if I don’t have the rubber ring of a daily practice: I can just spend a little time floating and thinking and that’s OK too because it’s still being creative. And it’s definitely needed, I can feel that it’s needed but even though I know that, it’s still the hardest part of the creative process for me. Being a bit of a control freak, I don’t do well with letting go even when I know that I need to.

Generally I like this time of year, I enjoy looking back over what I’ve done the year before and setting goals for the year to come. However, I think it’s going to take me a couple of days to do that this year because I need to process how I feel about the end of the first phase of The Diary Project and honestly assess what it is that I need and want from the coming year. I’ve spent today telling myself, “it’s better to set the right goals a couple of days ‘late’, rather than rushing in and committing to things that are wrong for you just because you have this superstitious attachment to the 1st January.”

Well, I’m off to lie down in bed with a cup of herbal tea, a hot water bottle and my art journal to see if I can calm the maelstrom in my brain. I hope you all have the space and time for a little reflection too.