Happy 2008, I hope you all had a good holiday season if you celebrate and that you’re approaching this new year filled with creative energy and enthusiasm.
I don’t know if I am yet. I posted the last envelope last night and spent some time bouncing around being very happy because I had successfully completed the year without a single missed envelope.
However, today I’m feeling a little bereft. I enjoyed the ritual of marking every day and it’s hard to let go of that. How will I know that 2008 existed if I don’t mark it in some way? My mind is racing with ‘substitute projects’. Should I commit to art journalling every day? Should I take my new Moleskine notebook and divide the pages into sections so I can fill it with a year’s worth of drawings and single poetic sentences? Should I put a wallchart in my studio and mark off every day that I spend some time in there? Should I take a photograph everyday? Should I take a daily art walk where I collect objects? Should I, should I, should I, should I?
I was very clear before the end of the year that I needed to allow myself some recovery time after the active phase of The Diary Project and I know that’s still true. However, my muse apparently abhors a vacuum and so I’m having to forcibly rein myself in and let my brain know that I’m not going to jump straight into doing something new. That it’s OK to let go for a little while and I’m not going to drown if I don’t have the rubber ring of a daily practice: I can just spend a little time floating and thinking and that’s OK too because it’s still being creative. And it’s definitely needed, I can feel that it’s needed but even though I know that, it’s still the hardest part of the creative process for me. Being a bit of a control freak, I don’t do well with letting go even when I know that I need to.
Generally I like this time of year, I enjoy looking back over what I’ve done the year before and setting goals for the year to come. However, I think it’s going to take me a couple of days to do that this year because I need to process how I feel about the end of the first phase of The Diary Project and honestly assess what it is that I need and want from the coming year. I’ve spent today telling myself, “it’s better to set the right goals a couple of days ‘late’, rather than rushing in and committing to things that are wrong for you just because you have this superstitious attachment to the 1st January.”
Well, I’m off to lie down in bed with a cup of herbal tea, a hot water bottle and my art journal to see if I can calm the maelstrom in my brain. I hope you all have the space and time for a little reflection too.