Hey there, I'm back - well, in body anyway, I'm not so sure about my mind!

Amsterdam was an interesting experience; I didn't immediately fall in love with the place but I had a truly wonderful time reconnecting with my friend, Red.

I found Amsterdam quite an odd place; it's very layered and compact and that gives it a strange, otherworldly quality - when I got home I described it to my family as "like an alien spaceport that has somehow been transported to our time zone". I can see how people find it magical but it didn't seduce me as much as I expected it would. However, I intend to go and visit Red regularly and I have the feeling that it will grow on me.

I didn't manage to check out the art galleries because there were lots of public holidays in the week I visited but we did visit a fantastic exhibition about Haitian vodou at the Tropenmuseum. I was captivated by the rough stitching and use of knots, sequins and fabric in many of the objects.

Unfortunately, I caught a nasty cough from Red's daughter that developed into a very persistent virus. Two weeks later, I'm still getting over it. Needless to say, this hasn't been good for my work however, I've been catching up on my reading and watching arts documentaries on SkyArts and the BBC's website. I also started drawing again for the first time in months, although I'm finding my current style rather stilted and tight. I think I need to break out the gesso again. Despite The Diary Project, I still have quite a troubled relationship with drawing and I struggle with accepting my own style.

I've been feeling more energetic in the last two days, so I threw myself straight back into my studio work and gardening. Unfortunately, I drastically overdid it and I've been forced back into bed today, which I'm finding incredibly frustrating. But it was absolutely great to get back into the studio again: it had been ages and I was starting to worry that I would never make art again! But as soon as I was well enough, my 'art joy' came back. I had been doubting everything I make and wondering if any of it was any good but a couple of days of work reconnected me to that deep satisfaction that I get from my own work. I still don't know if what I am currently making is good or worthwhile but I was strongly reminded that the journey is as important as the destination and that it's only through regular making that I'm ever able to get to the good stuff.

In other news, a couple of days after I got back, I became an auntie for the very first time. My youngest brother and his wife had a son on the 8th May. Elliot Fraser Hall arrived three weeks early but was still a very reasonable 6 1/2 pounds. He is apparently a very delightful and good baby and they're coping well. I'll be going up to visit in about a month, once my own son has got through his GCSE's.

And now I must go and rest again because I'm going out to my friend, Camilla's private view this evening.