You don’t have to show people your rubbish. But you do have to make it.
So yes, you do bloody have to show up and make your work every day - or as often as you can possibly manage.
Do you think that athletes show up for the Olympics hoping to be inspired? No, they train and train and train and then hope to do their best on the day. And when they don’t, they spend time asking themselves what went wrong and how they can do it better next time.
Hell yes! I’ve felt it. I know it exists. And like most artists I live for that particular drug, angel-sweet in my mind.
But I also know for a sure and solid fact that inspiration tends to show up more often when you’re already doing the work. Like a garden, inspiration grows best when the ground is tended and fertile. And that means lots of digging and a hell of a lot of manure.
As regular readers know, I'm currently hugely busy over on 365 Jars and it's basically eating my life. The project takes at least 2 or 3 hours most days and it's often far more. When I started, I honestly thought I could work it around the other things that I had planned for this year but three months in, it's obvious that I was monumentally wrong about that.
I knew it would be a lot of work but I honestly had no idea quite how all-encompassing it was going to be. That's partly because it took off instantly, so I never got the gentle 'I'll just get up to speed while no one is looking' period that I was expecting. But I also drastically underestimated how much admin it would require. When I was planning it, I sensibly accounted for the making and the walking but stupidly didn't think about the time needed to answer comments and emails, promote it, manage the required databases and all the photo editing and blogging. Let this be a lesson to you, my dears, the hidden work is still work!
365 Jars is an epic project that deserves my full attention and rather than attempting to do lots of other things in a half-assed fashion, I've decided to make a few changes to free up time and energy so that I can concentrate on it.
The art shop
Firstly, I am closing down my Big Cartel shop completely. It's costing me money to run and I'm just not selling enough to justify that expense. More importantly, I don't have the time to make and add new stock and do the constant promotion that an online shop requires.
Rather than having it mouldering away unloved, I'm shutting the shop on Thursday 31st March at 9pm GMT and I'm discounting the existing stock, so you've got two days to get an art bargain.
Smaller drawings like this one are now only £30:
Kirsty Hall: pencil & gesso drawing
While the larger drawings are reduced from £75 to £50:
Kirsty Hall: pencil & ink drawing
These are all original, one-off drawings and the price includes postage. It's possible that I may try selling my artwork online again at some point but it definitely won't be with these particular drawings, so you've only got two days to snap them up and then they're gone for good.
If you're desperate for one but can't afford it right now, let me know and we'll work something out.
The business stuff
I have taken down the Artist's Eyeballs. It was an interesting experiment but they proved to be far too much work for the amount of money that I felt I could charge for them. I also didn't enjoy doing them enough - they felt like a struggle. It's possible that they may return in a different form in the future but for now, they are no more. If you've bought one and not yet received it, please don't worry, I've not forgotten about you - I'll be emailing you all personally this week to discuss timescales and options.
It's extremely unlikely that I will be offering any new products or services until next year and I may not continue working in this area in the long-term. But for now you can still hire me to help you work out your internet strategy because I'm continuing to offer Internet Hand-holding consulting. I've also taken this opportunity to slightly lower the price of consulting from £70 to £60. I know people say that you should never lower your prices but it was obvious to me that £70 was too high for my particular client base. Yes, I could go looking for a wealthier client base but other artists are the people that I'm still passionate about helping.
I am also still available for paid talks in the UK, so if you represent a college or an artists' group who need a talk on blogging, social media or the internet, please get in touch.
This blog
I will still be blogging on this site but it is going to be infrequent. However, I definitely don't want this blog to die for a year while I blog like a crazed weasel over on 365 Jars, so I'm considering options like Audioboo, more round-up posts and short videos.
Artist Arse Kicking
I haven't completely decided what's happening with Artist Arse Kicking but I definitely won't be opening it as a monthly subscription art club until early next year. It's obvious that I can't offer people my full attention right now and it would be unfair to charge for something that I can't deliver well. I am still very excited about it though and it will definitely happen once the jars are done.
I would like to do something with the site this year but I don't quite know what. I may ask for guest posters or just post inspiring stuff that I find around the web. I'd like to get some energy and community going over there. Suggestions gratefully received.
OK, that's it for now. Don't forget that you've got until Thursday at 9pm to buy my drawings before the shop closes.
Yes, sorry about the dusty ghost town feel around here of late. There is a very simple reason. 365 Jars has been kicking my ass. Hard.
In my enthusiasm for starting a new project - 'yay, new art project, yay' - I forgot that new projects are always intense and all-consuming. 365 Jars is especially full on because it is a ton of work: I seriously underestimated how much time it was going to take every day. Plus starting a new daily walking habit has been a shock to the system. Don't fret, I'm OK but between all that and recovering from The Hideous Flu, I've been distinctly overwhelmed and I'm still behind with everything.
I don't know about you but I live with the pretty fiction that I can somehow Get On Top Of Things.
Let us pause for a moment for the hysterical laugher to subside.
Despite 43 years of solid evidence to the contrary, I persist in believing in a mythical point at which I will be Up To Date.
I secretly believe that it's possible that my inbox will be empty, the laundry will be washed and put away and I won't have any urgent outstanding work. Furthermore, I believe that it's possible for all this to happen on the same day!
There is no indication that this is humanly possible but like a fervent believer in the Loch Ness Monster, absence of hard scientific evidence does nothing to dissuade me. The truth is out there, Scully, the truth is out there.
Surely it's theoretically possible that one day I will complete all my unfinished knitting projects? And all my paperwork will be correctly filed with no missing bank statements and my accounting shall be done to a level that would make the Inland Revenue smile and pat me on the head. And the floors will be clean and I will have cooked in recent memory. And angels shall sing and fairies shall dance in my spotless kitchen and all will be well with the world. And all this shall happen before civilisation crumbles into oblivion, the sun explodes or we are invaded by aliens who eat our brains.
In short, I believe that it is possible that I will be On Top Of Things Like A Real Person.
Now, I do not know who these Real People are but apparently they are capable of a mystical level of organisation that I can barely aspire to.
In truth, like many people, I exist in a state of barely controlled chaos.
Recently I had a staggering insight. There will never be a point at which everything is working. Never. There will always be something undone, something lost, something falling off the bottom of the list, something a mere moment away from a crisis. Always.
So what to do with this insight?
I could forgive myself.
Hard for a perfectionist but OK, I'll give it a go. But then I just wind up crying into my cornflakes about how I'm not forgiving myself perfectly enough. Oh wait, I see a slight problem with this approach.
I could seriously cut back on what I'm doing.
Ah, this feels better. Is everything on my list really necessary? Is it all equally important? Will the world end if the laundry is not put away? Ah wait, perhaps this is that mythical 'prioritising' of which I've heard? Why, goodness me, I do believe it is.
But truthfully, right now, even the thought of prioritising makes me want to cry. It seems to demand more competence and energy than I currently possess.
Oh dear, we're back to forgiveness again.
So I'm falling back on that old standby: 'tiny steps'. It's not big and dramatic but it works. I'm not taking on new responsibilities and I'm patiently nibbling away at existing ones like a harvest mouse.
So I finally got round to updating my sadly neglected news page. I hadn't updated it since July. Oh the shame of it, Internets, the shame.
So, in an effort to be a little bit more on top of things, here's the news for January.
PS. You have to imagine me reading this aloud to you in a newscastery sort of voice.
First international exhibition
One of my pin sculptures, Quiver, will be at The University of Michigan in Ann Arbor during January.
Kirsty Hall: Quiver, Jan 2009
This is my first international exhibition, so I was thrilled to be accepted. And Quiver made it over there without being blown up in customs as a suspect package, for which I'm very grateful.
Disruptive Stillness is on at the Jean Paul Slusser Gallery at The University of Michigan between 7th - 28th January and there will be a closing reception on January 28th from 6 - 9 pm. Gallery opening times, address and further details are here.
If you're in the area, do pop along to stroke the pins.
I'm doing a talk
I'm pleased to announce that I will be one of the speakers at the Textile Forum South West conference Mapping The Future - Where are you now? on 26th March 2011 in Taunton. More information here.
If you're in the UK and you have an interest in textiles and/or mapping, I would encourage you to come along. The folks at Textile Forum South West are some of my favourite art peeps to hang out with and I think this conference will be great fun.
My talk will be about mapping and the internet, so I'll probably be discussing things like my 365 Jars project.
Speaking of which...
365 Jars is off to a resounding start with people all over the world avidly reading the daily jar updates.
To date, seven of the sixteen jars have been found but one of those was re-released into the wild by its enthusiastic finder. So if you're in Bristol, there should still be ten jars out there for you to find and take home - keep your eyes open!
There will also be arse kicking
Oh yes, indeed there will.
Artist Arse Kicking is an online monthly art club for grown-ups that I'll be launching some time in the spring.
Check out the FAQ for more details of what's involved and if it sounds exciting, please sign up for the AAK mailing list. Signing up doesn't commit you to joining, it just means that I'll let you know when things of an arse kicking nature are occurring.
The House Numbers set in particular, is evolving into something very special and I'm proud of it. My jar walks are providing lots of fruitful opportunities to photograph house numbers, so it's growing weekly. I've also added a Graveyard set, a Signs set, an Urban set, a Natural World set and a general set with all the random stuff that didn't fit anywhere else.
Charity Donation
Finally, in response to the dreadful flooding in Australia and South America: if you buy anything from me during January, I will donate 20% to charity.
For the last few years, I've been taking photographs of house numbers and I've just released these photos under a Creative Commons license. So if you have a need for some images of beautiful numbers, please check them out.
Kirsty Hall, No. 7, Jan 2011
Giesela Birgit over on my Facebook group asked me how Creative Commons works. I realised that other people might be confused about it, so here's a quick explanation.
What is Creative Commons?
Creative Commons is a way of licensing your creative work in a more adaptable way than traditional copyright. It replaces 'all rights reserved' with a more flexible 'some rights reserved' model that recognises that the basis of a free, open internet is sharing.
Creative Commons offers six different licenses, which allow you to control the way your work is used. All Creative Commons licenses require that you, the creator, are credited so people can't take your work and pass it off as their own.
If I use it on one thing, will all my work be Creative Commons?
Kirsty Hall, No. 20, Jan 2011
No, licenses are specific to that particular work, not your entire body of work.
I don't use Creative Commons for all my work. I retain full traditional copyright on all images of my art, any photographs I might want to sell in the future and all my writing. If you scroll down this blog you'll notice that I have a copyright notice that explains how people can use my work and when they need to ask for permission. As far as I'm aware, most people respect it. I also further protect my work by only releasing my images at 72dpi, which is not high enough for good print quality.
Is Creative Commons legal?
Yes. All Creative Commons licenses are an extension of traditional copyright and they have a 'Legal Code layer' written in lawyer language. Of course, that doesn't mean that it won't be challenged in court and there have been a couple of court cases about Creative Commons but there are even more court cases based on traditional copyright.
Won't people steal my stuff?
They might but that's a risk you take whenever you release any kind of creative work in public. Personally I only release stuff under Creative Commons that I'm not particularly bothered about and I don't worry about what happens to it.
If it bothers you, traditional copyright might be a better choice but be aware that dishonest people aren't bothered about any kind of copyright and all you're doing is stopping the honest people from disseminating and sharing your work.
Can I take public domain work and make it Creative Commons?
No, definitely not. You should only license works that you have created. The Creative Commons website states:
Creative Commons licenses should not be applied to works in the public domain. Our licenses are intended for works protected by copyright only.
Why I use Creative Commons
I currently have 410 images available for other people to use.
I take a lot of documentary-style photographs and I'm not very emotionally attached to them. Last year I decided to make these photographs available under a Creative Commons license because I'm a big fan of internet sharing, the concept of 'free' and enabling other people's creativity. I've benefited from using other people's images on my blog and I wanted to return the favour. It's a gift. It's also a strategic way to get more people to visit my Flickr account, which could lead to more people seeing my art.
Kirsty Hall, No. 85, Jan 2011
I use the least restrictive license for my Creative Commons collection:
"This license lets others distribute, remix, tweak, and build upon your work, even commercially, as long as they credit you for the original creation."
So someone could take one of my images and use it as the basis of an artwork or add it to a video, a blog post or a Powerpoint lecture. They could change the colour, flip it around, add it to a collage, even use it as the basis of a commercial work (although all my images are only 72dpi, so it wouldn't be great for printing). The only thing they have to do is credit me.
I chose the least restrictive license because I wanted my images to appear in awesome WordPress plugins like Photo Dropper.
If resolutions work for you, that’s cool. But it is my deeply held belief that January is long and depressing enough without making yourself feel like a failure halfway through because you thought you 'ought' to do something about your weight/finances/fitness/work-life balance or whatever damn thing you're feeling guilty about.
Goals are good when they're clear, measurable and achievable. Resolutions, on the other hand, smack of wishful thinking. A resolution is a cop-out. Oh, you ‘resolve’ to do something. Not actually a decision though, is it. Resolution is a kinda-sorta-wanna word. And most people choose resolutions that are destined to fail because they are murky and unclear and the person hasn't fully committed to them. Or doesn't even want to do them. Resolutions are invariably 'shoulds' writ large.
What I do instead are commitments, goals and a Word Of The Year.
So, for example, 365 Jars is a commitment, not a resolution. There’s no resolution involved. I’ve decided that I’m doing it and I know that I will get to the end of 2011 with that art project completed unless I break a leg or something (and I have a contingency plan for that). No excuses. No giving up in February because I'm bored. I'm committed, so I will see it through. That's how I am with art projects. Which is why I think long and hard before I start them.
Goal Setting
If resolutions give you an icky, ‘don’t wanna’ feeling, please come and join me in the ‘no resolutions’ corner – we have whisky, cough sweets, leftover chocolates and we don’t care what anyone thinks. I’m not even doing any 2011 goals right now because a) I'm knackered from the flu and b) I already have some important goals in play.
However, if you do want to set yourself some goals, here are some helpful tips:
Shoulds are deadly
‘Shoulds’ are killer words: they will eat you alive whilst making nom-nom noises. If the word ‘should’ appears when you’re thinking about goals, you need to chase it out of your brain with much screaming and a chainsaw.
If you don’t give a shit about that last 10lbs, don’t pretend you do. You’re not fooling anyone. Wishful thinking and half-heartedness won’t get you anywhere. If you think that you ‘should’ lose that 10lbs because some magazine says you need to or because all your workmates are dieting, you’ll fail. Because you don’t care enough to do it.
There is a very simple reason that I don’t have an MA – I can’t be arsed to go and get one. Until I have a burning, overwhelming desire to go back to college, I'll be sticking with my BA. Sure, I'd quite like to HAVE an MA but not enough to do the actual 'getting one' part. The moment I realised that an MA was in my 'should' category, I gleefully struck it off my list and felt much lighter.
Be creative
For the love of all that is holy, chose something fun or find a way to make it fun. You’ll do much better. Reward yourself with stickers, find a creative way to achieve that aim or do something you love. If you hate going to the gym but love playing with kids, borrow some kids a couple of times a week (ask first!) and take them to the park for a run around. You'll get exercise and their parents will be pathetically grateful. Or volunteer to coach football at your local school. Or lead a Brownie or Scout troupe.
Most people fail at resolutions and goals because they punish themselves with them. Why? Do you want to change a habit or do you just want to wear a hairshirt? Choose.
Be clear on your WHY
Goals that start with a ‘why’ are always stronger than wishy-washy, direction-less goals.
OK, so you want more time in the studio. Why? What does it get you? What happens if you do lose that ten pounds? How is your life better? What difference does it make?
I started 365 Jars because I wanted to take a daily walk every day during 2011. That was it. That was my ‘why’. I also wanted to get back to a daily art practice and I like doing year-long projects because they have a defined start and end. So that was two good strong 'whys' that I realised could be yoked together to make a fun project.
The art is a cheat code. I knew I wouldn’t walk daily if I made a resolution to do so but I sure as hell would if walking was part of an art project. So I came up with the art idea that would accommodate the walking. At this point, my wife looked at me funny and said, ‘you really will do anything if it’s for art, won’t you’. To which the answer was 'yes, but only when I set the rules.'
Tackle one area at once
When I’ve been trying to change big things, I've always been more successful when I’ve stuck to one area at a time. Trying to lose weight, sort out your finances, get fit, learn French and start a daily art practice all in a single month might be doable but hitting yourself with a stick would probably be more fun. Changing habits can be hard. And if you're trying to change habits in big, scary emotional areas like body image or finances, you can trigger all sorts of defensive mechanisms. Start small and achievable. Or trick yourself like I did with 365 Jars.
Make it measurable
‘I want to get fit’ is a completely pointless goal because you can’t measure it, so you will never achieve it. ‘I will do five minutes of stretching every morning during 2011’ is a far better goal because you’ll know exactly when you’re doing it and when you’re not.
Accept failure
If you do those daily stretches for 300 days out of 365, you’ve won. It’s not a zero-sum game, you haven’t ‘failed’ until you quit completely. 300 days of stretching will still make a big difference to your life. Sure, it's a bit annoying about the other 65 days but hey, you’re still way ahead of the people who did it religiously for 2 weeks and then gave up. Shit happens: give yourself credit for the things you did, not what you didn’t. If you don't manage to do your thing one day, pick it up the next day or the day after. If the way you're doing it stops working, find a new way to do it. But don't use 'I missed a day' as an excuse to quit.
Beware of romanticism
In my head, I can belly-dance. In my head I am also a willowy redhead who plays the harp and floats around in long wispy dresses. One day I may get round to learning belly dancing but frankly, I am shit out of luck with the willowy thing because I am small, dark and very curvy. Sure, I could grow my hair long, dye it red and lose weight but with the best will in the world, I can’t gain five inches in height unless I wear very unsuitable shoes.
And although I would like to be that pre-Raphaelite heroine, in truth, I am not that person. I look kind of drippy with long hair; I would have paint and mud on my long, billowing sleeves in five minutes and I would constantly trip over the wispy hemlines and then swear in a most unromantic fashion. Besides I have very little musical aptitude and no time or patience to learn. It is a pretty fantasy that bears no relation to who I truly am and I wouldn't enjoy the reality. Now, if my fantasy was to be a bumbling, slightly grubby, female hobbit, I’d be totally sorted.
I once had an amusing conversation with a knitting friend where we admitted to each other that we sometimes knit things we knew wouldn’t suit our body shape just because we fell in love with the model and the way the project had been photographed. That’s romantic thinking. So is 'I will feel happy in a bikini if I can just lose that 10lbs'.
Accept your reality.
There is nothing mystical about January
Set goals whenever it’s right to set them. I use monthly aims to keep myself on track and make sure important deadlines don’t get forgotten. If I get to March and I decide that 2011 needs its own special goals, I’ll set some then. The goal police won't come round and arrest me because I didn't decide on my goals on January 1st.
Commit
If you can’t commit to it fully, don’t even bother: you’re just setting yourself up to fail. Think this stuff through before you decide to do it. Be utterly clear what’s involved and why you want to do it. Make sure it's achievable. And then decide. And then do it. Yoda was right...
Things to remember
If setting goals right now is a genuinely helpful thing for you, then do it and enjoy. I hope you make positive goals that help you grow and the tips should help you set strong, achievable ones.
But you also have my full permission to take a big deep breath, resolve not to set any resolutions or goals whatsoever, say 'oh thank god' and feel instantly better. Here, have a chocolate...
Despite still being down with what appears to be Swine Flu, I managed to get out of the house today to start a new year-long art project.
Kirsty Hall: Jar No. 1, decaying roses, Jan 2011
365 Jars is a daily walking project. Every day during 2011, I will be taking a walk to release an art jar into the wild. People will be able to collect the jars and register that they've found them on the website, it will be interesting to see if anyone does. For those of you who don't live in Bristol (or anywhere I happen to visit during 2011), you can follow along on the project website.
My dears, I am taking some time off to hibernate. I have been pushing myself beyond my limits for months: I can't even remember the last time I took a full weekend off, let alone worked normal hours.
I need to eat good food; play in my art journal; have long lazy baths; read a big pile of books; watch some dumb films; hang out with my much-neglected family and generally recharge my batteries for the coming year.
Kirsty Hall: Snow Pub Blackboard, Dec 2010
If you're celebrating, I wish you a joyous and stress-free holiday season. And if you're not celebrating, I wish you a joyful and stress-free time anyway because I love you - look on the bright side, you'll get to buy discounted biscuit selections and cheap cheese soon.
I will be back at work on Mon 3rd January 2011. If you're waiting for completed work from me, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you. Your work is scheduled (I made a database!) and I expect to be fully caught up by the second week of January. If you need to speak to me, I won't be answering any email until the 3rd but I will be on Twitter intermittently.
When we moved into our house 13 years ago, the garden was so neglected that I thought I’d have to dig up the lawn just to have a few flowers. Then I started cutting back the hedge and discovered to my surprise that I already had large flowerbeds. They were just completely hidden by a ridiculously overgrown hedge and swathes of ivy, brambles and ground elder.
Kirsty Hall: Garden after the hedge butchery but still full of brambles & ivy, May 2003
If I wanted to reclaim my flowerbeds, I had to get serious.
One of the first things I did in my garden was to completely remove three enormous leylandii trees that were shading the entire space. It was obvious that nothing very interesting would grow in such deep shade. Most flowers and vegetables need light.
Your art or business is the same. You’ve got to make space in your life for Your Wonderful Thing or nothing will grow.
If your life is full of crap, there will be no room for Your Wonderful Thing. It will be strangled to death by other people’s needs and shaded out by all those sneers and subtle little put-downs.
You’ve got to clear the ground. Get rid of that clinging, stifling ivy and those spreading brambles.
Oh, you know what I’m talking about. That friend who's oh-so-entertaining but only talks about their stuff and is mysteriously absent when you need help. That family member who pours scorn on Your Wonderful Thing and tells you to Get A Real Job. That clinging person who just won’t let go and insinuates herself into every space in your life.
Sometimes those people can be contained. There is still ivy in my garden – it’s good for wildlife & I am happy to have it on walls, trees and in the hedges - but when it starts to rampage through the flowerbeds, I know I have to pull it up or it will smother everything else.
Some people need firm boundaries or they’ll choke out Your Wonderful Thing. They won’t even mean to but they will, so you need to protect your flowerbeds. Arrange to have a pressing appointment so you can cut short that person who goes on too long. Graciously go into a conversation with that self-absorbed friend accepting that you’ll be in listening mode for an hour. Phone a different friend when you need help.
Kirsty Hall: New shrubbery and path, May 2009
Unfortunately there are some people and situations that you simply cannot afford in your life. Not if you’re committed to Your Wonderful Thing.
After three years of pulling up ground elder, I finally realised that all I was doing was spreading the damn stuff around. It is virulent as all hell and will spread from the tiniest bit of root that’s left in the ground. And it makes a lot of roots. I’m not quite sure what the Romans were thinking when they introduced it to Britain. I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Eventually I guiltily resorted to weed killer and I’m now ground elder free. Similarly I have at least one person that I cannot let back into my life even the tiniest amount because they absolutely will not accept boundaries.
I’ve dropped friends who were such drama queens that they sucked the life out of me. Sometimes I’ve been the person who’s been dropped. It is Not Fun to be on either side of that situation but sometimes it’s needful.
If boundaries won’t work & they’re killing Your Wonderful Thing, well, you have a hard choice to make.
Do you want flowers or not?
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photo credit: cmaccubbin
